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Beyond the Conference Table: Why Dispute Resolution Must Meet People Where They Are

  • May 3
  • 3 min read

By: Tracy Calahan, MA, ADRDC
Originally published in the American Bar Association Dispute Resolution Section’s Just Resolutions newsletter (May 2026). This version is adapted and expanded to ensure broader access to the ideas shaping the future of family dispute resolution.

The Premise That Built Dispute Resolution

Dispute resolution was built on a simple but radical premise that people in conflict deserve more than a courtroom. .

They deserve processes that allow them to participate meaningfully in resolving their own disputes, if they are given the right structure, the right support, and the right environment to do so.

That premise remains intact. But the conditions required to make it true have changed.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in family conflict, particularly divorce and co-parenting disputes, where the stakes are deeply personal, emotions run high, and the long-term consequences extend far beyond the immediate legal outcome.


Where Traditional Models Fall Short

Most dispute resolution processes were designed as process interventions.

They assume:

  • Parties can distinguish positions from interests

  • Individuals can regulate emotional responses sufficiently to negotiate

  • Participants are capable of sustained, rational engagement

In practice, these assumptions often fail.

Conflict in divorce is inevitable and it is more than just a legal problem. It is a human regulation problem.

Emotional dysregulation drives impasse. Reactivity replaces reflection. Participation breaks down before process can even begin.

When that happens, even the most well-designed dispute resolution systems cannot function as intended.

This is not a failure of the process. It is a mismatch between where clients are and what the process requires of them.


Innovation Has Always Followed the Gap

The evolution of dispute resolution has consistently responded to these mismatches.

  • Collaborative law introduced interdisciplinary teams

  • Parenting coordination addressed ongoing relational conflict

  • Therapeutic jurisprudence integrated psychological insight into legal systems

Each innovation expanded the field’s ability to respond to real human need.

Now, that evolution is continuing.


Divorce Coaching: A Discipline Within Dispute Resolution

Divorce coaching represents the next phase of that progression.

It is not a replacement for legal or mental health professionals.It is not an informal support role.

It is a structured, forward-focused discipline operating within clearly defined boundaries.

At its core, divorce coaching addresses a critical gap: It helps clients become capable of participating effectively in dispute resolution.

A skilled divorce coach works with clients to:

  • Clarify interests and priorities

  • Reduce emotional reactivity

  • Build decision-making capacity

  • Prepare for engagement in mediation, negotiation, or litigation

In doing so, divorce coaching strengthens, not competes with, existing processes.

It allows those processes to function as they were designed.


An Expanding Field—And a Structural Risk

One of the defining characteristics of divorce coaching is its accessibility.

Professionals from multiple disciplines—law, mental health, finance, education—are entering the space, bringing valuable and diverse perspectives.

This diversity is a strength.

But without clear standards, it also introduces risk.

When scope, ethics, and competency are not clearly defined:

  • Clients may receive inconsistent or inappropriate support

  • Professionals may unintentionally operate outside their expertise

  • The credibility of the field itself is weakened

This is not a theoretical concern. It is the natural consequence of rapid expansion without infrastructure.


A Fuller Vision of Dispute Resolution

If dispute resolution is to meet the needs of modern families, it must evolve beyond a purely legal framework.

Divorce is not just a legal event. It is simultaneously:

  • Emotional

  • Relational

  • Financial

  • Developmental (especially where children are involved)

A comprehensive response requires multiple professionals working in coordination, each operating within a clearly defined role.

Divorce coaching sits within that ecosystem, not above it, not outside it, but as a necessary component of a more complete model.


What Comes Next

The field is expanding. The need is clear. The demand for more effective, human-centered dispute resolution continues to grow.

The question is not whether this evolution will continue.

The question is whether we will build the infrastructure to support it:

  • Defined standards of practice

  • Clear ethical boundaries

  • Rigorous, discipline-specific training

  • Integration with the broader dispute resolution community


At Divorce Coaches Academy, this is the work we are committed to, advancing the standards, training, and professional development necessary to support this next phase of the field.

Because dispute resolution does not begin at the conference table.


It begins with whether someone is able to sit at it and participate.


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