What Dorothy Can Teach Us About Divorce Coaching and Early Dispute Resolution

If you've ever trained with me, you've probably heard me talk about The Wizard of Oz.

It may seem like an unusual place to begin a conversation about divorce, but I've always loved the story because, to me, it isn't really about finding a wizard. It's about discovering yourself.

Think about Dorothy for a moment. One minute she's living her life in Kansas. The next, she's dropped into a world she doesn't understand. Nothing looks familiar. The rules have changed. Everyone seems to know something she doesn't, and almost immediately people start telling her what she needs to do next.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road."

"Go see the Wizard."

"Watch out for the Wicked Witch."

No one really pauses to ask the obvious question: How are you doing?

Can you imagine how overwhelming that must have been?

Honestly, I don't think it's all that different from what many people experience when they realize their marriage is ending. One day they're living their everyday life. The next, they're in a world they never expected to enter.

Suddenly everyone has advice.

"Call an attorney."

"You should mediate."

"Don't mediate."

"File first."

"Protect yourself."

"Document everything."

The advice isn't necessarily wrong. But I often wonder if it comes too soon. Because before Dorothy needed directions, she needed orientation. She needed someone to help her understand where she was before asking her to decide where she was going.

I think that's one of the greatest opportunities in divorce today. We've become much better at helping people choose a process. But I wonder if we've spent enough time helping people prepare to choose.

• To slow down.

• To understand themselves.

• To recognize the conflict patterns they've developed over years of their relationship.

• To think about how they want to show up, not just during the divorce, but in the life that follows.

Especially if they're going to continue co-parenting.

That's how I've come to think about one of the most essential components of divorce coaching. Not as another professional people have to hire. But as an opportunity for early dispute resolution.

A chance to pause before the legal process gains momentum. To ask different questions.

• What matters most to me?

• What kind of future am I trying to build?

• How do I typically engage in conflict?

• What would I like to do differently?

• Which dispute resolution process best aligns with my family's needs, my values, and my financial reality?

Those questions don't replace legal advice. They make people better prepared to receive it.

One of my favorite moments at the end of The Wizard of Oz is when Dorothy realizes she had everything she needed to get home all along.

I've always believed that's true for many people navigating divorce. Most people are capable of making thoughtful, intentional decisions. What they often lack isn't intelligence or strength. It's the space to think. The guidance to reflect.

The support to discover what's most important before the world starts telling them which road to take.

Maybe that's the real role of divorce coaching. Not pointing people down the Yellow Brick Road. But helping them understand where they are before asking them to choose a direction.

---

If this way of thinking resonates with you, and you're intrigued by the idea of helping people navigate one of life's most significant transitions with greater clarity, intention, and confidence, I encourage you to learn more about the profession of divorce coaching.

At Divorce Coaches Academy, we're passionate about preparing professionals to support individuals and families before, during, and after divorce, not by telling them what decisions to make, but by helping them become more thoughtful, informed, and intentional decision-makers.

Whether you're exploring a new career, looking to expand your existing professional practice, or simply curious about the evolving role of divorce coaching in early dispute resolution, I invite you to explore the resources, articles, podcasts, and educational opportunities available at Divorce Coaches Academy.

Who knows?

Like Dorothy, you may discover that the journey isn't really about finding someone else with the answers. It's about helping people discover they already have the capacity to move forward, they simply need the right guide to help them find their way.